Hilarious! Nigerian Superstars as Diseases…by Chris Ogunlowo

I saw this article on thenet.ng written by Chris Ogunlowo and I found it so hilarious that I

 had to share it here. It's famous Nigerians as diseases. Enjoy below...

1. Wizkid Syndrome: A chronic tendency to create catchy and repetitive hits to a loyal 

fan base with a boyish charm that induces envy from peers and late-bloomers, which 

also hides the fact, that one is approaching quarter-life. 

2. Davidotis: A psychiatric condition whereby a sufferer survives speculations of whethe 

r genuine talent or one’s father’s wealth is the source of one’s success, alongside 

a pervading comparison with an equally talented whiz-kid.

3. Tuface Syndrome: A rare syndrome that occurs when prodigious talent meets

 prodigious baby-making ability but with a legendary status, strong social equity and a 

staying power that keep a whole industry in awe.

 4. D’banj Obsessive Disorder: A disease characterized by the feeling that one’s best days

 are firmly behind and, as a result, one looks for outlets to compensate for fading stardom and income, including taking
relief in farming-

5. Dangotiosis: A condition marked by an obsession with Dangote‘s wealth, only curable by

 a decision to mind one’s own business.

6. Lindapilepsy: A strong and strange resentment that occurs when news of Linda Ikeji’s 

wealth arises, which is commonly observed among struggling publicists, jealous digital

 marketers, hungry journalists, and retired or rival bloggers.

7. Iyanyamariasis: The abnormal ability of a cell to spot errors in its former ways before

 proceeding to create a trademark style that takes waist gyrations to nerve-racking heights

 with performances worthy of Mr. Universe Pageantry.

8. Tontolitis: The debilitating ability to sustain fame in an erratic way as it was acquired 

while still smiling to the bank.

9. PSquarisasis: When two malignant cells take the understanding of a market to

 unprecedented heights resulting in a dominance previously thought impossible and doing

 it with a discernible Igbo accent.

10. Don Jazzy Disorder: A disorder that makes an organ produce back-to-back hits and

 maintain a social equity that can embarrass pastors and politicians, including a social media

 addiction and an idiosyncratic singing style that impresses.

11. Kceeosis: A cell’s ability to confuse celebrity with a right to make embarrassing 

wardrobe choices and a knack for coming out even more horrendous than a previous time 

despite public outcry and bile from popular bloggers.

12. Jenniferiasis: The ability of an organ to exhibit behavior that would ordinarily be considered razz to a point where the lines between acting and reality are blurred but compensated with popular adulation and brand endorsements.

13. MIplasia: A type of dwarfism that compensates the lack of bone growth with incredible 

rhyming prowess and a persona capable of inducing endless admiration and beef from

 hustling rappers.

14. Ice Prince Cerebral Cramps: A disorder that causes exaggerated hip-hop postures, 

a rigid conformity to infantile end-rhymes that turn rap songs into mainstream classics and 

also results in multiple awards than most “serious” rappers.

15. Mode Complex: An affliction that causes an artist to be the default reference for

 prodigious & clever wordplay that, sadly, does not correlate with the amount of albums 

sold or account balance, a living proof of the saying: ‘grammar no be money’.

16. Dakolomentality: A rare psychotic disorder that inflicts a sufferer with unlimited guttural

 talent but indistinctive brand positioning & packaging.

17. Olamide Palsy: A malignant tumor that involves a blatant display of one’s ethnicity 

and background combined with traits mostly reserved for touts but interestingly made into

 a premium musical package that surprises earlier sufferers of the same tumor who faded

 into obscurity.

18. Phynognomy: A severe condition similar to Olamide Palsy but with an Igbo flair and

 an ability to turn what would have been a bad hair day for most into a phenomenal signature

 look.

19. Bella Naija Syndrome: An affliction whereby the Nigerian national man-hour is spent

 keeping track of who wore what to where until one wakes up to the reality of a wasted

 lifetime.

20. Kedike Syndrome: A syndrome that causes a sufferer to endure a clean image despite

 the presence of a latent sexuality which experts guess might lead to a Rihanna Crisis or,

 in the extreme, a psychiatric condition of Miley Cyrus proportions.... 

lolz...